We establish our attachment (relating) style by 18 months old, which sets the life-long template for the way we communicate, our expectations of ourselves and others, our ability to resolve conflict, our ability to manage stress, and how we seek and navigate our friendships and romantic connections.
If our childhood environment proved challenging (often at no fault of our carers) our experience may lead us to seek survival strategies such as depression, anxiety, avoidance, substance misuse, workaholism, or overeating as a way of coping with feeling unsafe, unstable, insecure or frightened. These earlier ways of relating are then experienced in the present, affecting our relationships and the world around us, leading to painful and potentially unsafe experiences, unsatisfactory relationships, and feelings of unhappiness.
I find it both compelling and rewarding to witness my clients begin to see the world from a different perspective, shift unhelpful thinking, and crucially, make those tentative steps towards behavioural change. And it is this change that can launch a new path towards consciously creating secure attachments, alongside recovery from substance abuse or self-limiting behaviours.
The initial counselling sessions provide an opportunity for us to begin to understand your attachments, to people or to behaviours. This therapeutic approach will help you become more consciously aware of why you feel a certain way, and how in the past and present, important persons and situations have impacted you and may still be having an influence today.
It offers you an opportunity to experience, perhaps for the first time, a relationship where it feels safe enough to explore your fears and mourn past losses. As you feel safer to explore your difficulties and find ways of understanding them, it will begin to feel possible to have a more secure, fulfilling and creative life. I can help you better understand and make positive changes with your relationship difficulties, mood disorders and any issues with dependency.
As an attachment therapist, my working style integrates psychodynamic theories of personality development (Attachment), cognitive approaches to decision making (CBT), mentalisation and self-observation.
I am committed to providing a confidential space where together we can think about the changes you want and need. If you are seeking an experienced, warm and relational therapist for either short term solution-focussed work, or longer term psychotherapy, please do get in touch.